Death by Puns : Networking Protocols

• A TCP packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and TCP packet says “yes, a beer”.
• In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
• A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
• A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second; I need to close the window.”
• When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
• IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”.
• The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
• The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
• The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
• I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
• The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
• I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
• The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
• I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
• A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
• DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
• The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
• The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
• I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…